Two years ago, I placed my beautiful baby girl into her new parent’s arms. But it wasn’t goodbye forever. I have an open adoption with my birth daughter and her adoptive family. This means that I get photos and updates from her parents, as well as in-person visits. I’m so glad I chose open adoption, and here’s why.
It’s best for the child
Unless safety is an issue, it’s healthy for a child to know who their birth parents are. As my birth daughter grows up, I will be there to answer any questions she may have about her adoption story, family history, etc. I will always be around to tell her that I love her and explain why I placed her, so she knows she wasn’t just abandoned and unwanted. She will grow up in her stable, loving adoptive family and have a bond with her biological roots.
It eases my grief
I don’t know what I would do if I had to say goodbye to my birth daughter forever. On hard days when my heart aches for her, I hang on to the fact that I’ll see her again. I look through the photos her adoptive mother sends me. I don’t have to miss out on the milestones. I didn’t get to be there the first time she rolled over, but I got a video of it about two minutes later. I still miss her, but having contact makes it so much easier. I sleep well at night knowing that she is safe and well cared for.
I gained a family
My open adoption relationship is not just with my birth daughter. It is with her parents and their extended families, her big brother and his birth parents. I have regular contact with all of these people, and I love them dearly. Some of them have become close friends, and I consider the adoptive parents a brother and sister to me. Things aren’t always easy, just like any other family relationship. We always work it out, because we love each other.
The bond between us will never break
I carried this little girl for nine months. We shared every breath and every heartbeat. I was the first person in this world to love her. Adoption doesn’t break a bond like that. She and I will always have something special. The last time I saw her, I could tell she felt it too. She ran to me, reaching up to be held. She cuddled and kissed me and held my hand. She’s too little to understand adoption, but she knows I’m someone special, and that I’m hers.
Open adoption isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it was the best thing for me and my baby. I couldn’t give her the stability and family she deserved, so I found someone who could. Now she has a birth family and an adoptive family, and we love her with all our hearts. There can never be too many people that love her.
If you’re considering adoption for your unplanned pregnancy, you can get a free consultation by clicking here.
