There are various reasons why a child is placed for adoption, and nearly every child will want to know why they were adopted. Everyone wants to belong, and to know to whom they belong. Of course once adopted, a child belongs to the adoptive parents. A child understands this, but in their hearts he or she may still wonder. An open adoption allows the child to hear his story from his birth parents from the beginning. They can add pieces of history that an adoptive parent will never know. The child has a sense of security because he has visible proof that his birth parents love him. This allows him to have a deep bond with his adoptive family.
Medical history can be acquired if necessary. When you adopt a child, you seldom receive a complete medical history. Health issues can arise in the birth family after the adoption, and when you have an open adoption, this information can be quickly and easily passed to the adoptive family.
Circumstances that prohibited a birth parent from parenting a child can always change, and in later years the child may be able to have a meaningful relationship with her birth parents. An ongoing relationship with birth family cannot be underestimated. It means so much to the child.
A child who has never known or cannot remember his birth family will often create a “fantasy family”to fill that void. This fantasy family can interfere with the child’s ability to bond with his adoptive family because in his fantasy world, his parents would never give consequences or whatever else he is currently struggling with. He may imagine he would have unlimited privileges that are not allowed in his adoptive home, giving root to bitterness.
An open adoption is a blessing to the birth parents as well. They know their child is being loved and cared for. They aren’t left to wonder if their child hates them for placing her for adoption. They can have an active place in their child’s life even though they are no longer responsible for her.
An open adoption allows birth parents and adoptive parents to work together to love and help the child. This can result in a child who is more secure and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is loved by both families.